Reasons why shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch is like going to a gay club

Lots.

• Near complete darkness making it difficult to navigate oneself in any useful way
• Almost totally staffed and frequented by men with amazing bodies, leaving one in total body-hate situashaaaaaaaan due to pec-related inadequacy
• Strong smell of fragrance
• Very LOUD but very AMAZING hi-nrg eurogaydance choons* pumping out throughout the premises
• HOT HOT HOT

Actually it's very good, it's just quite hard to shop there. I mean, it's fine on arrival as the music and fine aromas get your adrenaline pumping and it feels incredibly exciting and all, but within 10 mins you're a sweating heap who can't really see the clothes on the shelves on in your hands. However the desire for transformation into buff jock-de-votre-reves ensures you grab something, pay and go...

* mind you, if only we could get amazing hi-nrg eurodance choons in a London gay bar. As it is I'd take A branch of A&F and a bottle of Poppers anyday over a tedious R&B/grime loop at Heaven